Two sides of the story of violence in a gay relationship – Spencer Reed and Phillip Aubrey

SPENCER REED's SIDE Last July 10, 2011, Spencer Reed tweeted that his lover Phillip Aubrey attacked him and slit his arm. He said Phillip did not attack him out of self defense and explained his bad decision on making it public in real time "It was not self defense and this was not the first time i have been attacked severely by Phillip. This was just the worst and finally landed me in the hospital and he was arrested. Clearly if he was acting in self defense i would have been arrested too. Making this public was a bit stupid on my end but i was hurt, lonely and laying in a hospital bed awaiting the gash in my arm to be stitched up."


4 days later (July 14, 2011), Spencer Reed talked about the incident on his blog with now ex boyfriend Phillip Aubrey "Phillip has been both verbally and physically abusive pretty much from the start. Each time has gotten progressively worse.". He gave an advice to guys in an abusive relationship to get the fuck out.

Spencer_reed_injuries Spencer_reed_stiches 

PHILLIP AUBREY's SIDE Last August 20, 2010, Phillip Aubrey gave an interview to J.P Barnaby which was just posted this week, September 7, 2011, on Queer Magazine Online.

VIDEO 1 From J.P. Barnaby "Talking more about his relationship, Phillip outlines about how their relationship changed after they moved in together as a committed couple. Cruelty, insults, anger, and physical altercations were a normal part of daily life. Unable to value anything in his apartment because its contents were continually destroyed, he turned to friends who advised him to be cautious but to stay."

VIDEO 2 "In this section, Phillip talks about his happiest memory in their relationship. He also discusses how he was unable to socialize online and connect with his fans because of jealousy and spite. He recalls being dominated and controlled, and how he tried to figure out how to enjoy BDSM in order to please his ex."

VIDEO 3 "As the relationship starts to deteriorate, Phillip is deluged with a constant stream of anger and cruelty both at home and at work despite his efforts to make his ex happy. The violence culminated into one last night in which Phillip finally defended himself resulting in his own arrest. When he returned, everything in life had been stripped away."

VIDEO 4 "In this segment, Phillip talks about the effect that being arrested has had on his life, the accusations posted about him, and his feelings of betrayal. He discusses the financial and emotional impact of their breakup, and his online reaction."

PERSONAL OPINION I got the feeling that Phillip was the battered person in his relationship with Spencer Reed.

Thanks to Steve for sending me the link to Phillip's interview.