Chaos Men: Barton & Vander RAW (May 19, 2017 / 35:13 minutes)
BOTTOM LINE: Chaos Men serves up a Thunderdome Matchup with two of its hairiest, Daddy-types Barton and Vander. I was a little surprised given the very palpable chemistry between these two that legendary site performer Vander had early scene wood problems (feel like that’s a sign of the apocalypse!) making the regular formula creative director Bryan Ockert can’t seem to break from (make-out, oral, switch, 69, rimming, switch) quickly tiresome and routine. But just wait for the ride: when it revs up and takes off, it’s one of the hottest flip-flops Chaos Men has put out. Sure Barton’s awkward and maybe hasn’t settled into the “performer” aspect, but the power fucking they give each other, the mutual complementary sex talk, and Vander’s insatiable fuckhole and penchant for sloppy ATM’s elevate this scene to a stellar example of the kind of sexy, intimate, hard-driving sex scenes Chaos Men delivers on a regular basis.
WANK WORTHY
Barton is starting to look a lot like Chaos Men‘s dark horse in the running for reliable porn performer. I love his backstory – came out of the closet two years ago and exploring his newfound love of the cock via hardcore gay porn. And we’re all reaping the benefits. Bald, large and in charge with muscles, Barton has an almost perfect cock – the right length, the right thickness, and a hot bulgy vein running the length of its topside. But don’t just stop there: His PHAT hairy butt is equally perfect. In the underside shots, you’ll see his cheeks are beautifully defined and separated from his thighs and hole. Wow. He hasn’t fallen into “performing” for the camera, both a negative (he’s kinda awkward) and positive (just watching him give in to his feelings candidly on camera is a major turn-on). Yum, yum, gimme some! Scene MVP
Know how I know Vander is gay or at least a true power bottom? When he cums and unloads his (disappointing) cum shot in this clip, watch how he slightly pivots his hips and up and his legs back so Barton can continue fucking him deeply and stretching out that hole. Vander rarely missteps so it was troubling to see that it took some time for him to get hard. Rare for this dyed in the wool, born for porn performer. That said, once he gets hard, there’s no turning back. Glad to see him top again too. Us power bottoms can turn on our top prowess when we want to. And nice toe point, Vander.
What Worked
- Chemistry: these furry daddy’s practically devour each other.
- Tongue kissing fans rejoice! Lots of the sloppy macking going on.
- Barton’s fucking style is LIFE! Power-fucking, deep churning, Magic Mike grinding, pull-out-slam back-in. My hole next please.
- Vander is the undisputed king of ATM’s.
- Barton’s ass should be declared a Wonder of the World. Who can resist diving into that?
- Power bottoms take note – Vander has declared “School’s in session”.
What Didn’t Work
- Vander can’t get it hard? I blame Trump.
- Barton comes off as awkward at moments. Both hot and disconcerting.
- Oral section gets a bit boring (Vander’s limp dick certainly isn’t stimulating either).
- Poor Barton – he admirably deep throats Vander’s limp johnson to no avail.
- Is the cowboy position the new difficult one to pull off? When both performers step up to the bat, they’re so amped up for cock they appear to be fighting each other (one trying to bounce / ride, the other trying to fuck up into the hole).
- Underneath shots are still wildly overlit.
- HD blur on a LOT of the closeup shots.
- Shadows from the film crew at minutes 17:24 (check the wall to the left of Barton’s head) and 21:00 (lower frame right).
- Minute 14:13 – DID HE JUST SNIFF HIM!?!?!?
Hottest Moments:
Oral Domination (8:36 – 10:05) – Watch Vander suck cock like the pro-Hoover he is. We start on a nice side shot of him deep throating Barton with segues to close ups as Vander is jacking his (finally) hard cock and even fingering Barton (check that reverse shot). At 9:28, we’re treated to hot over the top shots of the action.
Warning: Sloppy, wet noisy rimjob ahead – at minute 10:39, in the closeup shot of Barton rimming Vander, it’s loud and sloppy as wet sounds abound from Barton’s epic salad toss. He continues to tongue fuck and motorboat in up to 11:33.
Power-fuck to ATM, Part 1 (17:52 – 22:56) – Barton unleashes a modified standing monkey fuck on Vander’s ass, slamming him (hot Vander expressions ensue). We get some blurry underneath shots before Barton grabs Vander’s wrists at 18:56 in a show of dominance and just splits him open. To top it off (*pun intended), at 20:04, Vander pulls off and ATM’s, tasting his own ass.
Power-fuck to ATM, Part 2 (22:07 – 22:56) – In a hot side closeup, Vander is bouncing on Barton’s cock which slips out. Vander sits back on it and Barton thrust-fucks deep up into him. In the long shot at 22:56, Vander peels off and….wait for it…..deep throat ATM’s Barton’s wet cock.
Barton gets it – As Vander is fucking Barton’s hot, fat, juicy, delicious ass (yes….I love it that much!), at 25:59 Vander slips out but Barton shoves it back in and after a “It’s Nice and thick….Oh My God!” at 26:14 and beyond, Vander power fucks Barton. To end, Barton backs up his hot butt onto Vander’s cock. Ending at 26:57.
Gape Hose Down – At 32:58, Barton’s juicily creams Vander’s gape (ahh that watery, prostatic load you get after being fucked hard), creampies, and then in one continuous cut, Vander cleans that dick up with his mouth.
